Love is a four letter word

I notice that today, people are really quick to say, "I LOVE YOU,"  but what do they mean? Do they understand what love means? 

How would you explain love?

This is a trick question, don’t even try to answer it. Whatever you say will be inadequate.

The greatest need of the human heart is for love; to be loved and to be free to love others. Giving and receiving love are the hallmarks of our humanity. In order to truly be human, we must be able to receive love and release it to others.

But, what is Love?

The word “LOVE” is one of the most misunderstood and misused words in the English language. This simple, four-letter word can bring joy, peace, conflict, heartbreak, and disaster. What does it mean to you? That depends on your history, culture and vocabulary. Words are merely symbols - elements of language - that communicate ideas. 

 A group of psychologists delved into the meaning of love by asking a group of children aged 4 to 8 years age what “love” meant.

Their answers are truly amazing:

• 'When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..."
• "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths."
• 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
• "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
• 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
• "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
• "Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.
• "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
• "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
• "You really shouldn't say ‘I LOVE YOU’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Writers have attempted to define love in popular songs, motion pictures, and romantic fiction and it almost always involves getting our own needs met. Love is a warm puppy, a chocolate sundae, not having to say I'm sorry. 

Many of us look at love based upon what we can get out of the relationship;

• “I will give if I am going to get.”
• “He makes me feel so good!”
• “I love the way that ice cream tasted.”
• “She is so nice to me.”

 If we are truly honest, most of us would define love in terms of getting our own needs met. Even a generous act of giving to others is often based upon an expectation of what we will receive in return. When someone offers us attention, significance, or pleasure, we eagerly give, with the expectation that we will get what we so desperately want or need. But that is not love - that is selfish and manipulative. Even eight-year-old kids have a better understanding of love. 

Love involves giving, giving beyond oneself. It means putting another's needs ahead of our own. Love is the freedom to see beyond oneself in order to see another, not to see them as an object to meet my personal needs. Love sees another as a person worthy of love.

1 John 4:8 (NKJV) He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 

If God is love, our ability to understand LOVE is dependant upon our understanding of God.

Early church monastic, St John of The Ladder, examines the means of ascending to the highest degree of religious perfection by a series of thirty steps. Each step recalls a year of the life of Christ. The most holy example of religious perfection is achieved at step number thirty -”Love.”

The angels know how to discuss love, but even they are only able to do this according to their level of understanding. God is love, so the one who desires to describe this, attempts with dim eyes to weigh the sand in the sea. Love, from its very essence, is the likeness of God. As much as it possible for humans, in its action it is intoxication of the soul, and through its unique characteristic it is a spring of faith, and abyss of long-suffering, an ocean of lowliness. Love is fundamentally the exile of all opposing thoughts, for love thinks nothing evil.^[1]

If you want to know love, you must first know God!

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^[1] The Ladder of Devine Ascent, St John Climacus

10 Steps to a More Holy Life

Holiness has been given a bad rap in these days of hyper-grace and sloppy agape. But walking in intimate relationship with God and living under His protection does have its requirements. Living the holy life does not mean that everything will be rosy and things will turn out the way we want. There is not one hero of the Bible that led a life without trial and tribulation, but there is a way to live in His will, under His covering, and have a close personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. 

Psalm 15 asks and answers two questions, “Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill?”

First I need to dispel the concept that the psalmist is referring to going to heaven when we die. There is a tendency to spiritualize some scriptures which actually apply to how we live our everyday lives. 

At the time the Psalms were written, eternal life and heaven was not universally accepted by the Jewish people. The Hebrew word that is translated as “Tabernacle” refers to the Holy place where God dwelt while the Jews were out in the desert. But the word has a deeper meaning as a tent or a covering. While only the priests could enter the tabernacle, you and I have the opportunity to live our lives under the covering and protection of God. The Psalmist is asking the question, “Who can receive this covering and protection?” 

His next question is worded differently but has a similar meaning, “Who can stay on Your Holy Hill” The Hebrew word “qodesh har” refers to a sacred high place as opposed to a common or profane place. The bible refers to the holiness of God not only to the mystery of his power but also to his character as totally good and entirely without evil. Holy objects, therefore, are those with no moral pollution. They are not merely dedicated, but dedicated to what is good and kept from what is evil.

So what does this mean to you and me in twenty-first century America? Too many Christians have adopted the Antinomian attitude that they can do anything they want and still live under God’s protection and maintain an intimate relationship with the Lord. Many so-called Christian business people, politicians, and even clergy act in ways which are contrary to God’s will and still believe they have a right to God’s blessings.

Psalm 15 provides great insight into what it takes to live under God’s umbrella [tent, tabernacle, etc.] of protection and have that close personal relationship.

1.         Walk blamelessly. Whenever we sin we create a hole in the Lord’s umbrella of protection. Be careful in what you do or say so that there will be no cause for others to condemn your actions. There may be times when you are blamed for things over which you have no control, but be careful, there are consequences to your actions.

2.         Do right things. It is not enough to not sin nor commit wrong acts. You must to right things. Remember, it is more important to do right than to be right. Be just in all your thoughts and actions.

3.         Speak the truth from the heart. It is easy to stretch the truth to impress someone or to cover up something we do not want others to know, but speak truth from the heart. But what if your wife asks, “Does this dress make me look too fat?” Try to avoid falsehood and be creative.

4.         Do not slander. Do not tell false things about others.

5.         Do not do wrong to your neighbor. Instead always do the next right thing. Actually, we are commanded not to do wrong things to others, and especially not our neighbors. Our neighbors may be anyone in our community.

6.         Do not make disparaging remarks about others.

7.         Despise evil, but honor those who fear the Lord.

8.         Keep your promises even when it hurts to do so.

9.         Lend money without exorbitant interest. You may collect modest interest on money you loan to others, but do not take advantage of their situation.

10.       Do not take a bribe against the innocent. There are times when it may be to our personal gain to blame someone else for something in which they are innocent. That would be taking a bribe.

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